Ray J vs. Reality TV, Big Brother Edition

How is it possible Kim was the one on her knees and ended up with the more successful career. She still headlines her own reality show while Ray J is a contestant on one.  read more

Tim Allen Evolution Time Tool Man

Count on Tim Allen to throw a monkey wrench in any situation. And then fix it in-between a few commercials and 30-minute time frame.  read more

Emma Stone Defeats Wage Gap And Jennifer Lawrence

Nothing screams new age American values more than competing against someone that looks like you, and clawing yourself to the top. It's capitalism rebooted. But I'd rather see Emma Stone claw at Jennifer Lawrence in barely any clothes read more

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White House Hottie Hope Hicks

I hope Hope Hicks is able to fill the political position. And if she doesn't secure the promotion, I know positions I'd like to fill her in. Politics can be pretty boring. But I'm sensing a spike in younger male political interest coming on. read more

Chris Brown Opens Up About Beating

Domestic violence is never okay. In an obvious PR move, Chris made a documentary opening up about the beating to clear his name. Sort of.  read more

Anna Paquin Is All About Lesbian Upkilt

Anna Paquin will be seeking Scottish lesbian stud love in her new project Tell It To The Bees. Her lover will be Holliday Grainger. Hold on to your kilts men.  read more

The Gentrified Munsters Of Brooklyn

I'm waiting for the medical industry to classify hipster as a disease. Reboots are ripoffs that lack the respect for the original, but adding a hipster element just takes the cake. read more

Lori Loughlin Full Of Crap About Daughter's Car Accident

Celebrity parents are some of the most out of touch individuals on the planet. The evasion of common sense when you're a star is a dominant trait. read more

Paris Hilton Revives Reality TV

Paris Hilton is underrated. Her powers of resurrection rival that of Jesus Christ himself. And now she's bringing reality TV back from the dead.  read more

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Sexual Assault, Director's Cut

How many licks does it take to get to the center of sexual assault conviction? The world may never know. But for Roman three minors may be the answer. read more

Katy Perry Back Banging Bloom

With Katy claiming to kiss girls and like it, no one knows why her heterosexual relationships keep failing. read more

Leo DiCaprio's New Model

Life for Leonardo DiCaprio is amazing. When you're not lying about saving glaciers, you're busy banging barely legal models. read more